- me in 1st grade: wow swearing is so bad i won't ever swear
- me now: pass the motherfuckin salt you fuck
- When Normal Girls Laugh: They just have a soft cute little giggle
- When I Laugh: I make Whale noises, fall on the ground, clap my hands really hard, scrunch my nose and squint my eyes.
Basic school day
- me: i hate all of you
- me: stop screaming you saw your friend yesterday
- me: holy fuck walk faster
- me: get smarter idiot
- me: maybe if i hit my head on my desk enough times i'll die
- Me: Breathe if you find me attractive.
- Entire human race: *dies from lack of oxygen*
- me: *sees a hot boy jog past my house*
- me: I KNOW YOU LIKE ME, THATS WHY YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY
- December 21st: god decides he's had enough of sims and quits without saving
prediction of future text posts on tumblr
- December 20th: OMG DYINQ 2MORROW
- December 21st: DYINNN TODAY OMG
- December 22nd: WE SURVIVEDDDD
- December 23rd: HOLY SHIT TOMORROWS CHRISTMAS
- December 24th: ITS CHRISTMIS EVE
- December 25th: LOOK AT MY PRESENTS ZOMG
- December 31st: SEE YOU NEXT YEAR
- January 1st: WE HAVNT TALKED SINCE LAST YEAR LAWL
prediction of future text posts on tumblr
- December 20th: OMG DYINQ 2MORROW
- December 21st: DYINNN TODAY OMG
- December 22nd: WE SURVIVEDDDD
- December 23rd: HOLY SHIT TOMORROWS CHRISTMAS
- December 24th: ITS CHRISTMIS EVE
- December 25th: LOOK AT MY PRESENTS ZOMG
- December 31st: SEE YOU NEXT YEAR
- January 1st: WE HAVNT TALKED SINCE LAST YEAR LAWL
- Girl: but if i have a boyfriend, and i kiss a girl, does that really count as cheating?
- Me:
- Me: if i punch you in the face with my left fist, but i'm right-handed, does that really count as me punching you in the face
- me at any inconvience: this is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me
